Di Nardo's

Seemingly nautical in design, this restaurant's motif quickly disintegrates into a huge crab-cracking emporium with piles of claws, ribcages and empty Lite pitchers. There's no doubt you'll lose weight pushing, parting, hitting, hammering and eating the "jumbos" heated in fact and in spirit by spices so tasty they're emulated on the French fires. Calories regained. Nowhere else can you obtain broiled monkfish (tastes just like lobster here) in crab-boil sauce with fries, coleslaw, oyster crackers and horseradish of better quality for under $15. And nowhere else will you enjoy the feast with so little sobriety, due to constant dousing of hot lips and briny tongue into cold, frothing brews.