Nice Chinese Noodle House

The first few times you come here for lunch, dinner or take-out, simply listen to and watch what the Chinese customers are ordering. Ninety-eight percent of the diners are Asians, speaking various Oriental dialects, all seemingly understandable to the waitstaff. Realize that when you order a dish for yourself, you are truly ordering for three.

Begin with House Special Shrimp Roll (Cha Gio Trièn Chau) ($4.95) which are six ample packets of pressed shrimp. Each parcel tastes like a dazzling culinary combination of challah french toast, shrimp croquette and a New Orleans beignet.

There's a reason why your table is replete with forty chopsticks, hundreds of napkins, dozens of miniature white ladles, sliced hot cherry peppers, salt and pepper shakers, a soy bin and what might be a Shanghaied ketchup bottle. All of these accoutrements, but for the napkins, invariably find their way into Nice's noodle soups. The napkins (you'll use three dozen) are to wipe your brow, your nose, your mouth, your hands, your chin, your shirt or blouse, your pants or dress, your eyes: usually in that order, over and over.

You may not demur to the House Special Congee ($4.25), a cement-mixer sized porridge portion with floating pearly fish fillets of the sweetest, silkiest suppleness. I've seen residents of Beijing eating congee for breakfast, before bicycling to work. It sticks to the ribs and makes your belly visibly beat to the rhythm of your heart.

Bring cash. The menu has handwriting honestly stating, "Price slightly different in some items."